help please.

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Sara.G
Moderator
Posts: 638
Joined: Thu Dec 19, 2013 11:32 pm
Preference: P/T T-Girl
Location: South Wales, UK

Re: help please.

Postby Sara.G » Tue Mar 28, 2017 9:35 pm

In many ways the big questions for any one of the members here are -

1. Where do I fit on the transgender spectrum?
and
2. What does this say about my sexuality?

For the first I believe that there is no definitive answer, except once the decision to transition has been made. A crossdresser could shift on the spectrum depending on the need to dress or the motive for dressing.

The answer to the second question depends on whether the individual views themselves as male or female at the time in question. Many transgender people are attracted to the gender they desire to be and logically should be regarded as homosexual, on the same token a trans person who is attracted to the gender they are "rejecting" should be regarded as heterosexual. Why do I state this when it is contrary to "normal" thinking? The answer is that I am referring to how that individual identifies themselves (regardless of whether it is in a single moment of clarity, whether it is a repressed desire or simply how that person views themselves). When I present as Sara, I am 100% Sara and I act differently from my "everyday drab" male self - however I am still attracted to women, so therefore Sara is (or would be) a lesbian but my male self is straight.

Of course as with most things in life this issue is neither black or white but varied shades of grey so you are correct in saying that we are what we are. The real question should be would you act on these desires.
"Denying who you really are, only leads to regrets later in life. Seize the moment because it will never come around again."

I have been reliably informed that I am a much bigger bitch when I am NOT Sara!!!!

bb4444
Registered users
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:59 pm
Preference: Male (Straight)
Location: north east

Re: help please.

Postby bb4444 » Wed Mar 29, 2017 7:40 am

nice answer, and yes i probably would act on my desires given a chance.

thanks

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DebbieT
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Posts: 2280
Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2012 10:05 am
Preference: Transitioning Female
Location: East Manchester

Re: help please.

Postby DebbieT » Wed Mar 29, 2017 8:31 am

By the way - I'm not male. I'm female. A trans female, yes; but for me, the trans is an adjective like 'blonde', 'tall' or 'pretty'.

This is just a friendly head's up, in case you do meet a trans woman you fancy. If she's transgender, she's not going to see herself as male either, and referring to her as such is going to put a serious dampener on any fun you might have!

Debbie

bb4444
Registered users
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:59 pm
Preference: Male (Straight)
Location: north east

Re: help please.

Postby bb4444 » Wed Mar 29, 2017 9:08 am

i look at you pic and see female so probably would be an issue for me. as Ive said we are are what we are. i think the trouble can be is not always how others see us its how we see our selves.

being honest Ive been in the closet a long time, my wife allowed some experimentation but it was limited and i always new deep down she didn't like it, so ive had little chance to explore my feelings. recently ive been having consoling and i came out to the therapist. she advised that i descused it with the wife. sadly i did and at the end of the conversation i new that door was closed forever.

the problem is i have what i would call to fetishes that have been there since my teens, doing the cross dressing now and then with the wife did dampen them a little, but as most on here no just because you cant express yourself doesn't mean it will go away. since that conversation something has change in me and Ive started experimenting more. i now 100% happy with how and what Ive done but sadly need it, also probably need to go further. witch is one of the reasons i joined a forum so i could hopefully figure out who i am.

thanks

bb4444
Registered users
Posts: 12
Joined: Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:59 pm
Preference: Male (Straight)
Location: north east

Re: help please.

Postby bb4444 » Wed Mar 29, 2017 9:37 am

one of the reasons i ask for help is cross dressing just for the joy of wearing women's cloths isn't what im about. ive tried it on my own so to speak and even though it felt nice i don't crave it. for me its about combining it with my other craving. ive never tried makeup or wigs or even shoes. even though i dont find that type of thing a turn of i also don't crave it. though if someone ask me to, to please them i wouldn't have issue with it. so even though i am happy to say i cross dress and enjoy wearing women's cloths, it is more of a fetish for me than a life style choice. also even though i enjoy all types of sex, when I'm in fetish mode full sex is not always important. so the other persons gender wouldn't really matter, just there look.


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