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Confusion?

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TheVainCa
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Posts: 26
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:54 pm
Preference: Male to Female Crossdresser
Location: Suffolk, VA

Confusion?

Postby TheVainCa » Sat Sep 14, 2013 11:34 pm

Hi girls ive been dressing for about a year now. I guess ive reached the point where i feel as though i need interaction face to face i cant locate support groups in my area and im starting to ask myself what am i doing? And why am i doing this? Fact is i really dont know yes i enjoy it it makes me happy but really why? And ive gotten so all i cant think about is can i be passable am i already where do i stand. I a proud man ive fought in war been blown up shot at and watch friends die . Im a hunter a father a diy'r and survivalist and inmy own eyes a bad ass but that Tim. As alice i like to think of myself as a strong independant woman with a want for socialism , friends . A night on the town with some other ladies is a dream. But im quite lost in it all should have two lives or bring them together? I just really feel lost today . I guess i just really want to be a passable girl with friends to share my feelings with and talk to and go out with imjust really having a hard time iguess... And advice is totally appreciated i love you girls and all your support iguess i just need a better understanding of it all.
Alice :)

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Barbie
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Joined: Mon Jul 22, 2013 8:41 am
Preference: Male to Female Crossdresser
Location: Medway in Kent, England.

Re: Confusion?

Postby Barbie » Sun Sep 15, 2013 10:49 am

Hello Alice,
I don't have all the answers you seek but I would like to say that through the InterNet I have been in contact with many ex-servicemen who are cross dressers and some are even sissy maids just as I am sometimes. Just in case you are worried about sexuality, most of them are not gay or even bisexual, many are married though some are divorced. Most wish to be dominated by a woman but that reflects more on the web sites I frequent than on your situation. There is a large similarity between being a soldier following orders of his superior officers to the letter and being a maid following the orders of her Mistress without question.

Personally I desire to be dominated because I wish to escape from my responsibilities as a company director (and before that I wrote software for the defence industry). I want someone else to take the decisions and through that, live a less stressful life. Maybe this rings a bell with you, maybe it doesn't.

You have seen comrades die, that must have ben very hard indeed and just maybe your cross dressing is to escape to the gentler world of the feminine. Not that women do not have troubles of their own, periods and giving birth for instance but naturally you will not have to suffer those problems, nor the joy being a mother must bring. Love is of course in the equation, we all want to be loved and to give love, and to me and most men, we see women as the sex which does more of both.

There is or course the gorgeous feel, look and sound of feminine clothes and the smell of perfume. For me it started with high heeled shoes and how they made me walk and I moved on to clothes then jewellery then underwear and much later submission, being a maid, wigs and makeup. We all have our different pathway.

I am several thousand miles away in Britain so cannot help you in person but I wish you well and am happy to answer any questions. I hope that maybe what I have said has made a slight dent in your confusion, it is something most of us have and even if we go to the 100% male or female extreme we will always be confused about what life might have been like if we had taken the opposite direction.

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Davina
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Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2012 7:25 pm
Preference: Transitioning Female
Location: w/sussex

Re: Confusion?

Postby Davina » Sun Sep 15, 2013 7:29 pm

Hi Alice,

Mmmmm come a fork in the road then, dont dispair happens to a lot of us, as a race were a sociable lot ! lol Although we like to think we can survive without interaction and for much of the time we can, but when your blessed with a second person under your skin, expression and interaction sometimes becomes even more important try to find the third personality a blend of Tim and Alice not nessaceraly Male or female but Pro’s and Con’s , if it feels good at the time, go with the Pro , if its wrong listen to the Con

Then the battle between He Man and Wonder Woman wont be so heavy lol

To that end you if you have a goal in sight ie heading down the Trans G route these hurdles you need to get over or go round
If your just trying to find a balance between your two worlds, as long as it doesn’t cause harm to others then go with what feels right because it usualy is :thumbs:

best wishes Davina x
I don't bother with Hello's anymore as for most of you that's all you'll do here . . . . OMG i'm such a bitch. . . !

TheVainCa
Registered users
Posts: 26
Joined: Sat Jan 12, 2013 2:54 pm
Preference: Male to Female Crossdresser
Location: Suffolk, VA

Re: Confusion?

Postby TheVainCa » Sun Sep 15, 2013 8:27 pm

Thank you Barbie and Davina i guess ive got alot to think about... And i guess for now my goal will be becoming more passable and getting to dress more. Thinking of ordering some forms and a new gaff andnightie . But i suppose i should work on make up soon too?
Alice :)

Sonya1
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Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:51 pm
Preference: Transgendered
Location: USA

Re: Confusion?

Postby Sonya1 » Mon Sep 16, 2013 1:02 am

First - Alice, you ask why you do this but also say you enjoy doing it ...... enough said. You don't need anything more to "justify" crossdressing. You enjoy it and that's what it's about.

Second - unless you're headed to a ball or gala, there's no rush to make a decision on anything. Don't press yourself for answers, just take it one day at a time for a while and every so often, take a quick look inside yourself and see what you're feeling.

I know it's tough sometimes but hang in there.
One girl was called Jean Marie/ Another little girl was Felicity /Another little girl was Sally Joy /The other was me, and I'm a boy. (credit to P. Townshend)

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DebbieT
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Preference: Transitioning Female
Location: East Manchester

Re: Confusion?

Postby DebbieT » Mon Sep 16, 2013 9:01 am

Alice, a lot of us do reach the point where our inner-femme wants to reach out and gain affirmation that we're not alone. Interaction on the web is all well and good, but it doesn't have the same feeling as being with others of our kind. Davina's right, we're a social animal, and we need that face-to-face time.

Most western cities have an LGBT area where people meet, with bars and clubs, it's just a matter of finding them. Sometimes you need a pointer! I'm fortunate, where I live, the LGBT area is very well known and frequented. There are frequent events and meetings, but I realise it's not always like this everywhere.

It's also not necessary in these areas to be passable. A night out in Manchester's Village (the LGBT area here) is full of trannies who are definitely not passable, but that doesn't matter. I think it's a case of visit your local major conurbation and locate your local area. It may even only be one club. Or, find a local interests website to yourself, create yourself an account that won't be tied back to you and ask; somebody will know where it is.

I reached the point your at just over a year ago. I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but once I took that step out from behind the curtain, I found an amazing world where I wasn't weird, I wasn't a freak. It was the single most scariest but best thing I've ever done. There was no turning back afterwards. The feeling was just too amazing.

I cannot emphasise enough how exhilarating it is to be dressed with other people. It's a buzz, a self-confirming self-affirmation of who you are, it's like being given everything you wanted for Christmas when you were eight. Any feelings you got when you first put on a dress pale in comparison. A bungie jump is scary and exciting, but brief. You get the same feeling from going out, but it's constant.

:Debbie

Sonya1
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Preference: Transgendered
Location: USA

Re: Confusion?

Postby Sonya1 » Mon Sep 16, 2013 5:25 pm

Hey Deb - I like to use this quote I lifted and use it when talking about weird/freak v normal. It was attributed to Morticia Addams of the Addams Family (film/tv show).

"Normal is an illusion. What's normal for the spider is chaos for the fly."
One girl was called Jean Marie/ Another little girl was Felicity /Another little girl was Sally Joy /The other was me, and I'm a boy. (credit to P. Townshend)

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DebbieT
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Joined: Mon Apr 16, 2012 10:05 am
Preference: Transitioning Female
Location: East Manchester

Re: Confusion?

Postby DebbieT » Tue Sep 17, 2013 7:51 am

I like that comparison, Sonya!

Are we the spider, or the fly?

:Debbie

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Arielle
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Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 8:04 am
Preference: Male to Female Crossdresser
Location: North Carolina

Re: Confusion?

Postby Arielle » Wed Sep 18, 2013 7:23 am

Yep, enjoy it and be the beautiful person that you are, especially if your love ones are supportive. :thumbs:
-"80's girl forever!"

Sonya1
Senior Member
Posts: 1070
Joined: Fri Feb 08, 2013 4:51 pm
Preference: Transgendered
Location: USA

Re: Confusion?

Postby Sonya1 » Wed Sep 18, 2013 5:03 pm

DebbieT wrote:I like that comparison, Sonya!

Are we the spider, or the fly?

:Debbie


Hmmm. I was thinking "spider, of course" but then I thought "are we trapped or perhaps wrapped in our own webs of gender nonconformity?"
Then I decided "I'm a frog waiting to become a princess."
One girl was called Jean Marie/ Another little girl was Felicity /Another little girl was Sally Joy /The other was me, and I'm a boy. (credit to P. Townshend)


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