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Why do you care.....

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Nikki Len
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Why do you care.....

Postby Nikki Len » Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:41 am

what other people thing about your crossdressing? I have don't care what people think about me, expect a few people like my next door neighbor, really sweet old couple that been married many moons. They would not understand. Their grandson saw me and thought I was a friend of ours. LOL. My family would not understand either :washedup: . But other then that, I don't care. I have been out about five times and never had a problem. My wife set rules and I follow them. When I dress, I like wearing skirt,dresses, pantyhose, and heels.

So Why do you care what a total strangers think about you?

Nikki Len

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Summer
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Re: Why do you care.....

Postby Summer » Tue Feb 26, 2013 9:41 am

Mostly don't car, but there is always the threat of unprovoked violence or other abuse. The other thing to be aware of, if not careful of, is the appropriateness of your attire.
If I were to dress inappropriately for the area if I were to venture out dressed in, whatever the legal or moral niceties might be, I have to realise that the world isn't nice in general. News items regarding violence & abuse against anonymous members of the public who don't stand out should be a warning of some sort so for those wishing to change social norms in the way crossdressing (or whatever term you want to call that) does.

Having said that I think that mostly the great British public don't really care overly much about it.


I tend to stay clear of places where drink is being consumed in large quantities by predominantly yong males, or from places with a high religious following - usually non-christian.
An older man in a skirt.
In my head I look good, but then reality buts in . . . . . . .

Nikki Len
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Re: Why do you care.....

Postby Nikki Len » Sun Mar 03, 2013 6:11 am

Purecotton wrote:Mostly don't car, but there is always the threat of unprovoked violence or other abuse. The other thing to be aware of, if not careful of, is the appropriateness of your attire.
If I were to dress inappropriately for the area if I were to venture out dressed in, whatever the legal or moral niceties might be, I have to realise that the world isn't nice in general. News items regarding violence & abuse against anonymous members of the public who don't stand out should be a warning of some sort so for those wishing to change social norms in the way crossdressing (or whatever term you want to call that) does.

Having said that I think that mostly the great British public don't really care overly much about it.


I tend to stay clear of places where drink is being consumed in large quantities by predominantly yong males, or from places with a high religious following - usually non-christian.


Of course you have to be careful on where you go, but the question is why do you gals worry what other people think?
Nikki

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DebbieT
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Re: Why do you care.....

Postby DebbieT » Sun Mar 03, 2013 10:47 am

There's a desire built into us from an early age to conform and blend. Even as rebellious teenagers, we conform to our social peers. It's part of the psyche of humans. We can't get away from it.

Therefore, when we step away from that societal norm, there's a strong feeling of wrongness.

It takes people varying degrees of time to come to a conclusion that other people don't care, at which point we free ourselves from the constraints imposed by a life time of conforming, to truly express ourselves as we want to.

I can still remember the point at which I suddenly no longer gave a rats ass what other people thought. Shortly after I realised that other people have their own issues, thoughts and worries. They're too busy thinking about their job, what they're going to have for dinner, whether their partner is cheating, etc. Couple this with the brain's remarkable ability to focus fill in the details through shortcuts, and people look but don't see.

So people don't see, and when they do, the majority of them don't care. Passing isn't about looking completely feminine. A lot of real women don't look very feminine. But they ARE so they present that way, and we see them that way. The same is true for us.

Once I realised all this, I couldn't believe I'd worried about it for so long. And now I don't.

I'll quite happily shop for clothes in drab. I'll quite happily wander through the Trafford Centre in a dress. I might be six foot three in heels, but it doesn't matter. The chances are nobody will 'see', and if they do, the chances are nobody will care.

Having said all that....put young men in a group, add alcohol, and the picture changes. I would avoid walking into a working men's club in a dress. For instance. I would avoid a 'straight' area that has a large group of drunken men. Although sober and individually they wouldn't care, in a group, their peer pressure means they have to be MALE. And that means destroying the non-conventional. It's the flip side of humanity. I do my part, I avoid them.

:Debbie

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Summer
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Re: Why do you care.....

Postby Summer » Mon Mar 04, 2013 7:17 am

Well said, Debbie. Mostly I don't care either, but certain situations, particularly where alcohol is concerned, should be avoided.
An older man in a skirt.
In my head I look good, but then reality buts in . . . . . . .

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DebbieT
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Re: Why do you care.....

Postby DebbieT » Mon Mar 04, 2013 6:19 pm

I recently had cause to describe an area of Blackpool as "Inhabited by people who have one brain cell marinaded in alcohol."

This is one such place to avoid.

:Debbie

Sonya1
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Re: Why do you care.....

Postby Sonya1 » Tue Mar 05, 2013 3:33 am

an area of Blackpool



In an upstairs room in Blackpool
By the side of a northern sea
The army had my father
And my mother was having me
Military Madness was killing my country
Solitary Sadness comes over me :thumbs:
One girl was called Jean Marie/ Another little girl was Felicity /Another little girl was Sally Joy /The other was me, and I'm a boy. (credit to P. Townshend)

Nikki Len
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Re: Why do you care.....

Postby Nikki Len » Tue Apr 09, 2013 5:07 am

I understand why you want to stay away from certain area and that you want to be accept by others. I always had good moments, like I was carded for buying a drink and the waitress had to take a double take and look at me and said "good". I had to go to the ladies' room and the waitress followed me in. She asked how long have I been crossdressing and how long did it take to get where I am at? I told her I have been dressing for about six years and I only have been going out for about a year now. She then told me her boyfriend is a "crossdresser" and then she asked that famous question, "Are you gay?" I reply "no, most crossdresses is straight." I asked her how far is he and she told me he dress all the way and have not gone out. She also asked me what got me to go out in public and I told her I really don't care what people think.

But safety in concern number 1 and there is places that one can go.

Nikki


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